What would my life be like without my character defects?

A life without People Pleasing would allow me more energy physically, emotionally and mentally. It would afford me the opportunity to do some fun creative things that I’m currently unable to do because at the end of the day I don’t have the energy to carry them out. I would be free to be me, be accountable to me and not looking for someone else’s approval, so I can feel good about myself.

A life without Exaggeration or Deceitfulness would allow me the opportunity to be straightforward and not worry about what others think. I would not have to make myself look better to other people than I really am or put on appearances that I am better than what does actually exist in my life. I will get my esteem from within rather than from the outside and as I moderate myself others will listen, and hear me as I’m not exaggerating something which causes them to question what I am saying.

A life without Dishonesty and Lying would allow me freedom from that sick feeling that erupts in my stomach when I am being dishonest or lying. It would help me to walk in integrity without the fear of being found out as a liar. I could esteem myself from within rather than seeking to do so from others as I moderate myself and learn to use boundaries well. Integrity would allow me to be humble and admit when I thought more of myself rather than submitting to a process that I formerly didn’t give any credit to.

A life without acting out a Hypochondriac/Physical Injury would allow me freedom to live my life well. To not have to have an illness to get someone’s attention, but to find other means to get my needs met and to be recognized for some accomplishments other than recognized for sicknesses or injuries. I can deal with the real problems or feelings that I’m faced with and not have to injure myself in an attempt to withdraw from life’s circumstances I’m afraid to face. I would accept that I have value and run with it and not hide from it.

A life without Blaming Others For My Circumstances would allow me to take ownership for my thoughts, feelings, wants, needs and actions. I would not need to look for an individual to accuse, blame, criticize, ridicule or attack when something doesn’t go as I have planned. Instead I get to own it and see how I could have done something better, so I can learn from it.

A life without Gossiping Against Those Who Oppose Me would allow me freedom and energy to do other things, learn to let go rather than hold a grudge, let someone else off the hook rather than expending energy to make someone pay for the opposition. Would allow others to feel safe and may cause them to want to draw near rather than to withdraw from me.

A life without Shutting Others Out would allow me to have friends, a sense of community for that is what I’ve longed for. It would allow others to speak into my life and I would not have to fear their rejection, but consider what they may have to offer me that would enhance my life. I would have the opportunity to learn rather than loose energy in keeping the one up position.

A life without Striving For Power and Recognition would allow me the opportunity to rest, be content and satisfied with who I am rather than trying to make a place for myself. I’d get to benefit from the scripture in Psalms or Proverbs that says your gift makes a place for you at the table. Proverbs 18:16 – A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.

A life without Indecisiveness would allow me time and energy to live more life. It would free me to make a decision and live with it and its consequences rather than “spinning” in regard to what I fear others might think concerning my decision or fear to appear less than based on my decision.

A life without Helplessness would allow me an opportunity to explore, grow, and feel a sense of accomplishment. It would cause me to know what the growing process feels like and to succeed rather than to shrink back out of fear. I would not have to be less than, but live in the sense of my own worth and value.

A life without being a victim would allow me to have a new identity. To reach for goals, believe in myself, to walk out of my circumstances rather than to accept that what life has given me is all that I am worthy of. It would allow me the opportunity to take new risks and risk succeeding rather than accepting the shame or less than position that has felt so comfortable.

A life without being irresponsible financially would allow me the opportunity to be at peace when low economic times encapsulate us. It would allow me to plan and prepare for my future instead of fearing it. I would plan for events and enjoy them rather than sulk that I wasn’t able to do something due to my lack of planning or sulk because others had more money than I did and had greater opportunities than I did. I would have the opportunity to get some things I want and be happy, but not bound by them.

A life without Irrational or Extreme Thinking would allow me be to be vulnerable, to risk sharing my hurts or fears rather than having to clothe myself in extreme or irrational thinking which most times leads to anger and an incongruent reality. It would allow me to practice moderation and be accepted rather than rejected for my immoderation.

A life without Perfectionism would allow me the opportunity to enjoy life, others and my environment without being on all the time. It would allow people to draw close rather than to risk me correcting their speech, fixing their shirt or picking a hair off their clothing. I could let go and conserve the energy to do other desirable things.

A life without Over Commitment would allow me the opportunity to enjoy life, not stress out or continue in a sense of chaos when I am overwhelmed by my commitments. I’d have to deal with my feelings rather than accept the discomfort I feel when chaos rears its head and I feel over committed.

A life without Misplaced Responsibility would allow me more freedom to live my life without getting into others. I don’t have to fix others and I have more time to do things that I will find satisfactory and enjoyable. I will get to observe other people and their choices, but will no longer feel obligated to fix them or offer them all my “wisdom” which they never wanted in the first place I learned much to my astonishment and horror when I was still so full of myself.

A life without being Critical of others would allow me the opportunity to compliment rather than criticize. Grow in acceptance rather than criticize. Grow in awareness rather than looking for someone to blame or expose so that I can feel better than at their expense.

A life without Pushing others to be my Higher Power would allow me the opportunity to think on my own feet. Allow me to own my thoughts feelings, wants and needs without pushing off my personal responsibility so I can blame another person rather than owning my own stuff around that. It would allow me to live a life that is fulfilling motivated by my own power rather than sucking the life out of someone else to discover what they think and allow me to think on my own without fearing the repercussions of my choices.

A life without Lack of Passion out of Fear would allow me to succeed. To explore my fears and find out what holds me back from succeeding or accomplishing those things that truly are hidden inside. I get to risk being known rather than withdrawing. Learn from any mistakes I make along the way and right them off as a lesson learned rather than spinning in shame as I’ve previously done.

A life without Explosive Expressions of emotions would allow me to be moderate, to feel the acceptance of others rather than the rejection of others. It would allow a great deal of peace which would replace the turbulence I have felt for so many years due to the chaos of felt both internally and externally. I would live the abundant life rather than the chaotic life of poor choices of not knowing how to identify my emotions, moderate them rather than allowing them to dominate me and protect others rather than spewing toxins out on another person making me an unsafe person to be near.

A life without Controlling the Reality of others would allow me to learn a new way to be comfortable. It would allow me to let go and let them discover their own consequences rather than be the “Food Queen, Health Queen, Know it All Porcupine Queen” which caused others to withdraw and hide from the discomfort I inflicted on others. We just watched 7 Pounds where there was a scene where the guy scared out of her mind a single mom with two kids whose boyfriend was being very abusive. She wasn’t ready to accept the truth and it was a great illustration to understand what I have been doing to others. When she was ready, she made the call. I can walk in awareness, but have more energy to extend grace, love, compassion or acceptance or state that would not be okay with me, but not feel responsible to change or fix them.

A life without an Inadequate Sex Life or Intimacy Issues would allow me to be vulnerable, state my sensual desires where I could be soft, tender and take greater risks to be known rather than demand, be harsh or critical. I would find tenderness as I’ve never know, learn more compassion and awareness in knowing my mate rather than hear that I don’t know him and we’ve lived together x# of years.

A life without Blocking intimacy with extreme conclusions would allow me be loved, valued and to be vulnerable rather than defending myself in fear that I might actually get what I want. It would allow us to draw close to one another in tenderness, taking risks to be known more and accepting my mate for his strengths as well as his weakness rather than requiring him to be strong all the time out of my fear that I will not be well protected or may suffer abuse again.

A life without Unnecessary Arguments would allow me to walk freely, not have to make myself look better when I feel small inside. I could deal with the past and forgive instead of making someone else pay for the former offenses of another. I could let go of the need for perpetual chaos and walk in dignity and self respect rather than tearing at other people’s value or shaming them for things that formerly triggered me and is really a place I am still wounded and need to grow in.

A life without Resentment, score keeping, and jealousy in relationships or concerning belongings would allow me the opportunity to grow in contentment, enjoy the things and relationships I have. Allow others the freedom to be themselves without manipulating them to give me some of what they have. To rejoice with another person rather than resent them for what they have relationally, financially, spiritually or emotionally.

A life without Self-Centeredness, Unable to be Present or Counted On would allow me the opportunity to live life without others being disappointed with me. I would no longer have to fear their judgment or fear letting them down. I could own my limits as well as know my strengths and accept that I do not have to be perfect or put on a facade that I am. Owning my weaknesses allow me to walk in awareness rather than self-centeredness; it allows me to be present rather than withdrawing out of inferior feelings that formerly dominated me; it allows other to count on me because I’ve already counted the cost before committing.

A life without My Way Or The Highway would allow me to walk in humility rather than a One Up position where I am always trying to prove myself value to myself and to others. It would allow me to make myself vulnerable and ask another person what their perspective is and how they would handle a situation. It would allow an opportunity to know others in a greater capacity and take the risk to let others be in control so I could loose control and enjoy the ride more often than not.

A life without Always Having To Be Right would allow me the same luxury that living without My Way or the Highway affords. It would allow me to walk in humility rather than a One Up position where I am always trying to prove myself value to me and to others. It would allow me to make myself vulnerable and ask another person what their perspective is and how they would handle a situation. It would allow an opportunity to no others in great capacity and take the risk to let others be in control so I could loose control and enjoy the ride more often than not.

A life without Low Self Esteem would allow me to grow in expressing myself, look for other ways to esteem myself and learn more of what I like, think, feel, want and need. It would afford me the opportunity to explore new things, take new risks and discover things I may have previously feared. Awareness of Low Self Esteem has opened up a myriad of new places I want to venture out in.

A life without An Inability to esteem others would allow me to encourage others. Look for ways to build others up, think of others more than myself, and grow in compassion and understanding of others. Walk in awareness that sometimes others need someone else to care at a low point in their life.

A life without Poor Self Care would allow me the opportunity to live a long health life I want to live rather than medicating myself to death. It will allow me the opportunity to enjoy life because I feel good and no longer withdraw out of fear through medication of some sort. Only potential lies ahead as I choose to live life abundantly rather than in fear.

A life without Justification would allow the opportunity to know myself without blaming, accusing or criticize others for situations I felt were substandard. It would cause me to walk in integrity, no longer acting in a covert way to get others to agree with me so I can feel good about myself. It will allow me to face my feelings of inferiority and to no longer live in Fear of "Not Looking Good" in other people's eyes as I’m no longer looking for them to esteem me, but I know how to do that for myself.